


I Love You in Every Language

by GlitterFairy_21225



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier Bickering, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Established Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Google translate sucks, M/M, Multilingual Character, Post-IT Chapter Two (2019), Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Little Shit, but what else do I got
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:22:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24581509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterFairy_21225/pseuds/GlitterFairy_21225
Summary: Richie is an idiot. But apparently a bilingual idiot. Oh wait no- multilingual. Yeah... Eddie has a hard time believing it as well... Also they're alive and everything's made out of sunshine and rainbows except for Richie's mouth- In all languages.If you actually speak any of these languages... Sorry. (Fucking google translate)
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 13
Kudos: 123





	I Love You in Every Language

**Author's Note:**

> Again, I used google translate. 
> 
> Also, would you believe me if I said I didn't think of this because of Boris Pavlikovsky? I've wanted to write a mute!richie story, because I guess I hate him and also irony, but I have writers block. But I keep imagining Richie surprising everyone by already knowing sign language. So I guess I legitimately headcanon that Richie learned another language for fun.

"Let's take off our shirts and kiss!" Eddie shouts.

"Not this time, motherfucker!" Richie retorts. "Just give it up, Eds."

Eddie huffs. "For the last time, don't-" Richie takes advantage of his frustration and once again beats him at arm wrestling.

"Ha ha ha!" Richie throws both his fists up victorious. "I fucking win!"

"You're a fucking cheat, that's what you are." Eddie rolls his eyes, leaning back on the kitchen island.

"Oh, I'm the cheat?" Richie laughs as he stands and does the victory dance that he knows Eddie loves even though he says it gets on his nerves, which it probably does. "And what do you call your downright scandalous attempts at seducing me in order for the victory?"

"Oh fuck off." Eddie crosses his arms.

"Oh, are you pissed?" Richie smirks, seeing an opportunity to do his favorite activity besides sex; seeing how pissed off he can make Eddie. "Just because I win again?"

"Shut up!"

"I win." Richie happily repeats, more than enjoying teasing his boyfriend. "I win. In Spanish, yo gano. In French, je gagne. In German, ich gewinne. In Russian, ya vyigryvayu. In all the languages, I win!"

"Oh my god, shut up!" Eddie snaps. "You're unbelievable."

"Ya. Ya neveroyato seksual'naya." Richie nods in agreement and then translates. "I am. I am unbelievably sexy." Eddie shakes his head in annoyance.

"Oh no, by all means, keep butchering your own idiocy in a way I can't even understand." Eddie says. "I'd much rather you spew your bullshit in gibberish than bother me with it."

"Really, Eddie?" Richie pouts mockingly. "Calling different languages gibberish? I thought Mrs. K taught you better than that. I guess she was lying about being a good girl while I was-"

"Beep beep!" Eddie groans. "And it's only gibberish when six foot tall assholes spew out shit that sounds even remotely-."

"Wait wait wait!" He interrupts, laughing slightly. "Oh, did I forget to tell you?" Richie straightens his back, as he immediately tries to think of ways to both annoy and impress Eddie with this.

"What?" Eddie asks. Even though they love each other dearly, a fact that never ceases to amaze Richie, it's only been a few weeks that they've been together. Given the literal decades they spent apart, little details and quirks are still taking some getting used to. Especially since a lot of that time has been dedicated to getting their shit together after Derry.

"Eddie, my love. Mon coeur. Mi querido amor." Richie drawls out for dramatic effect. "Your boy toy is... Quite the multilingual."

"I... I literally don't understand anything you just said besides you calling yourself a 'boy toy'." Eddie says. "And for that, I'm going to have to beep you, dude."

"Understood and ignored." Richie salutes as Eddie rolls his eyes for the hundredth time that hour. "Okay, so do you remember when we were kids and talking about taking different languages in high school?”

"No."

"Well I do." Richie says. "And I remember that some cute little thing-"

"Just say 'you' like a normal person." Eddie sighs.

"Aw, spaghetti. You know you love me for the opposite. Along with other things." Richie winks and Eddie fucking glowers at him, mouthing 'fuck you'. "Anyways, some cute little thing-" Eddie throws his arms up in frustration. "- was all like, 'Richie can barely speak one language, how's he gonna learn a second?' and I was all hurt because, 'My spaghetti doesn't believe in me!' and so I swore then and there that I would dedicate my life to learning as many languages as humanly possible, but you guys said that was bull, but clearly I proved you wrong!"

Eddie blinks at him incredulously. "The fuck?"

"What you need proof?" Richie asks, then wiggles his eyebrows. "Let me show you. I can't believe this hasn't come up before. Spanish would make things so... spicy for our alone time. Then again, if you're too busy screaming-"

"Beep beep!" Eddie snaps in annoyance. "You're not seriously telling me that because of something non-traumatic that happened in the childhood you didn't remember, you learned several different languages."

"Who says I wasn't traumatized?" Richie points out. "The utter lack of support from the people who I called friends-!"

"You're a dumbass." Eddie says. He opens their fridge and pulls out two drinks, tossing him one. Richie catches it easily.

"Would a dumbass know... I don't know how many languages!" Richie brags. "All of which I'm fluent by the way."

"Please." Eddie scoffs. "I'm guessing you can talk two- at most three, including English, and even then I'd go out on a limb and say you only know the phrases that can be used for sex."

Richie blinks at him in shock. "Okay, fair enough, but also..." Richie starts laughing uncontrollably. To the point that it hurts. He tries to pull himself together but can't stop. Fuck, Eddie's looking at him like a weirdo, but what's new? "Dude! For the past twenty seven years, my life has been made up entirely of being a depressed comedian, learning foreign languages, and having gay sex in secret." Eddie's eyes flash in jealousy the way Richie loves so much. "I took that challenge seriously!"

"No one was challenging you." Eddie deadpans as Richie finally calms down.

"You told me I couldn't do something." Richie snorts. "How else was I supposed to take that?"

"Any way besides the way that you did." Eddie speaks a universal truth. "Christ, you fucking kept it up when you were literally an amnesiac."

"Yes, yes I did." Richie says proudly.

"Okay then, I'm actually curious. How many languages do you know?" Eddie asks, leaning forward.

"Were you not listening? Countless, bitch!" Richie says. "I know all the languages."

"I'm just having a hard time believing there is room in that peanut hiding behind your giant forehead for every single language in existence." Eddie smiles dryly.

"Well believe it!" Richie says haughtily. "Because I can seduce anyone in any language, cariño."

"Is that so?" Eddie tilts his head in a mocking way. "Okay then. I cannot believe I'm going to say this, and I'm suddenly wondering if this is all some elaborate manipulation, but there's no way your singular brain cell has room to scheme and come up with words at the same time. But... Talk your heart out." He says reluctantly as Richie gasps aloud. "In Spanish."

"Wow. Esto es realmente impactante, mi amor. Pero con mucho gusto haría cualquier cosa para ver tu lindo carita fruncirse con fastido-" _This is really shocking, my love. But I would gladly do anything to see your pretty face pucker with annoyan_ ce-

"Uh- French!"

"Quand vous réalisez que je connais toutes les langues, vais-je recevoir récompense? Peut-être dans la chambre?" _When you realize that I know all the languages, will I receive a reward? Maybe in the bedroom?"_

"Chinese!"

"Zhè kěndìng huì ràng nǐ fāfēng. Wǒ kěnéng zài tánlùn nín de mǔqīn huò nín de pìgu, dàn nín bù zhīdào." _This will definitely drive you crazy. I might be talking about your mother, or your ass, you don't know._

"Russian!"

"Khorosho, ya mog by takzhe rasskazat' vam o moyem seksual'nom sne o vashey mame." _Okay, I could also tell you about my sex dreams about your mom-_

"Sign language."

Richie signs, _"I'm just going to give you the middle finger so you'll think I've been saying 'fuck you' in different languages this entire time_." And he signs every word, only giving the middle finger at the word 'fuck'.

"Korean!"

"Naneun dangsin-i nawa hamkke geu myeonglyeong eumseong-eul sayonghal ttae salang." _I love when you use that commanding voice with me._

"Dutch!"

"Ik loop het bad af om eten te zien." _I walk down the bath to see food._

"Greek!

"Entáxei, mathaíno aftó to teleftaío, eínai éna érgo se exélixi." _Okay, I'm still learning that last one, it's a work in process._

"Italian!"

"Pensi che sia facile imparare tutta questa merda? Ci vogliono anni, cazzo, bambino." _Do you think it's easy to learn all this shit? It takes fucking years, baby._

"Latin!"

"Et ego- o, debemus manducare aliquando mox." _And I- oh, we should eat Latin some time soon._

"Okay! That's it!" Eddie throws up his hands in defeat.

"Yes, mi amor?" Richie asks innocently.

"You really speak a lot of languages."

"That I do." Richie nods. "What was your first hint?"

Eddie ignores him and sighs. "I would ask what all that was, but I know it's either too sexual for the kitchen." He underestimates Richie, his sex talk was completely within limits- "-or too mind-numbingly stupid for me this early in the morning." Oh no, Eddie's still spot on.

"You learned all that just because of something that happened decades ago?"

"Well... it's actually kind of fun." Richie admits. He's never actually told anyone that. Most people wouldn't even entertain the thought that Richie could have an interest other than sex and Eddie's mom, though he is deeply invested in both. "But don't tell anyone. More on brand for me to learn all that just cause of a challenge from when we were kids."

"No one was challenging you, you idiot!"

"Pare de duvidar de mim!" _Stop doubting me!_

"... I don't know how to respond to that." Eddie shoots him a dirty look. Richie laughs.

"Mahal kita." _I love you._

"Are making fun of me!?"

**Author's Note:**

> I'm especially sorry for the Latin one, when I switched it to English it wasn't even close, so I just went word for word. 
> 
> Also, I'm half Filipino, and one of the only things I know is 'I love you', so I just had to add that last thing. :)


End file.
